Today we mourn the passing of an old friend,
by the name of Common Sense:
Common Sense lived a long life but died in
the United States from heart failure on the
brink of the new millennium. No one really
knows how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in
schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping
folks get jobs done without fanfare
and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and
frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common
Sense. He was credited with cultivating such
valued lessons as to know when to come in
out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound
financial policies ! (don't spend more than
you earn), reliable parenting strategies
(the adults are in charge, not the kids),
and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the
Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural
and educational trends including body
piercing and "new math."
But his health declined when he became
infected with
the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it"
virus. In recent decades
his waning strength proved no match for
the ravages of well intentioned but
overbearing regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became
ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health
rapidly deteriorated when schools
endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
policies. Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for
taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and
a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly
student only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools had to
get parental consent to administer aspirin
to a student but could not inform the parent
when a female student was pregnant or wanted
an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live
as the Ten Commandments became contraband,
churches became businesses, criminals
received better treatment than victims and
federal judges stuck their noses
in everything from the Boy Scouts to
professional sports. Finally, when a woman,
too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of
coffee was hot, was awarded a huge
settlement,
Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in
and out of logic but was kept informed of
developments regarding questionable
regulations such as those for low flow
toilets, rocking chairs and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his
parents, Truth and Trust, his wife
Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility and
his son, Reason. He is survived by two
stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone |