|
20 WAYS TO KEEP THIS AMERICAN
TRADITION ALIVE!
Each year in
the United States, children of all ages are just begging
their parents to teach them how to be an uncaring,
ignorant and irresponsible contributing factor in this
horrific act that we Americans allow to happen. It’s
becoming ‘stylish’ to get a pet and then neglect it –
even abuse it – or maybe even simply give up on it and
take it to the pound where it will most likely be
killed.
And, well it should be. After
all, it was left inside the house for 10 ½ hours alone
at the age of 7 months and it peed on the carpet! If
that’s not a pet just begging to be killed I don’t know
what is.
So, we’ve come up with 20 simple
and very common steps to follow in order to teach your
little ‘angels’ how to be just like mommy and daddy and
keep this American tradition alive. Trust us, these 20
steps are tried and proven to be very successful here in
this country over the past 50 years. Help us put those
darn activists and humane educators back in the closet.
They are nothing but a nuisance!!
Your own personal guide to being
a contributing factor in the 8 million lives lost this
year in America.
1.
When looking for a pet, DO NOT consider where
you’ll be in 5-10 years in the future. That is NOBODY”S
damn business. Anyway, you don’t know yourself. If you
move, or get evicted, you’ll just take the pet to the
dog pound where they ALWAYS find their pets good homes.
That is their job.
2.
When checking out the options, don’t bother with
finding out anything about the given breed or it’s
individual needs, requirements or possible differences
from the norm. THEY”RE ALL DOGS – THEY”RE ALL CATS.
They all need nothing more that food water and ‘some’
shelter. PERIOD.
3.
Don’t consider the size or the length of the hair
of the grown specimen. It’s just too darn cute now to
make a difference- you’ll certainly be able to handle it
– IT”S ONLY A DOG.
4.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, ask anyone with
experience for any advice or guidance with the young
pet. YOU KNOW ALL THERE IS TO KNOW! You’ll certainly
make all the right decisions and the pet will become
‘perfect’ in no time. Professional trainers are just
gonna tell you to do things that you would never do
anyway, so why pay for stupid advise.
5.
Make sure that all female pets have at least two
litters before getting them spayed or neutered. After
all, the 8-10 million pets that we are killing are all
bad or sick. Americans would NEVER kill adoptable
pets! NO WAY. (Anyway, you know that the ‘other’
neighbors who’ve had litters were doing it all wrong,
but ‘you’ are certainly being responsible and don’t make
mistakes!
6.
If you are one of the wealthier families in the
area and have a rusty, but fixable boat trailer in your
back yard, make darn sure that the dog is tied up or
fenced in the back yard 24/7 to protect it. (no need to
consider the safety of your wife or kids what so ever by
allowing the pet inside the house) No need to train the
dog either. Don’t even consider the fact that it will
likely become mean to EVERYONE and someday bite or
attack the wrong person and you loose your house.
Because it may not happen that way. It may just become
so undesirable or bark so much that the neighbors begin
to hate you and file complaints with animal control to
where you must get rid of the pet.
7.
If you have already established a good
relationship with your pet and then, YOU become
pregnant, get rid of the dog IMMEDIATELY! They eat
small children.After all, those old ‘wives’ tales’ are
usually based on fact. What you are teaching your
smaller children has absolutely no effect here at all.
You’ll certainly correct it in the child’s mind later
on. IT”S JUST A DARN DOG! You’ll go to a responsible
breeder after the baby is born and buy a new puppy that
you, the successful and experienced dog ‘owner’ can then
train to your liking. If by some chance you do keep the
dog, make sure that the kids have no guidance or
direction when playing with the dog. THE DOG SHOULD
TOLERATE EVERYTHING. Anyway, your children are ‘good
kids’ and are certainly smart enough to treat it
correctly, huh? My kids would never do ‘that’ to
a pet.
8.
Remember just how easy life was without a pet and
give NO THOUGHT to giving it to the pound or to some
unknown individual who ‘promised’ to take good care of
it. Even though YOU made the same promise to the
dog’s original owner not long ago, YOU HAVE A
JUSTIFIABLE reason to dump it on someone else, ‘cause
you’ve given the dog everything it needed and given this
process a lot of thought. (Plus, the guy had a nice
smile and gave you $50 bucks!)
9.
If you ever sneeze, cough, or break out in a
rash, IMMEDIATELY get rid of the pet, because you might
be allergic to something. After all, everybody knows
that if you're allergic to anything at all, having pets
will just make it worse and why take a chance – it’s
just a dog. And that stupid medication may cost $10-20
per month. The dog’s life is not worth that is it?
10.
Redecorating your home can be very nice for the
family. Make sure you take the pets into consideration
when doing this and if they just don’t match your new
colors, take them to the pound to be put to sleep and
get new ones that match. God will think that’s an even
exchange.
11.
Moving can be a hectic experience and the pets
only get in the way. It really doesn’t matter what you
do in front of your children, they will ONLY pay
attention to what you say. So, if you are moving and
the pets cannot come along, just leave them in the back
yard. The garbage you left behind has your scent on it
and will make them feel secure like you are going to
return some day
12.
If your family has a pet that isn’t working out,
just load it into the car and take it to the nearest
remote wooded area and let it be free. That is the way
God intended them to be and he/she will be so much
happier this way. 10,000 years of domestication is
really just a bunch of bunk. He’ll be fine.
13.
When you and your pet are finally at wits end
because you have failed miserably in the training and
guidance of said pet, you can just lock the darn thing
in the back yard till you get around to completing the
task of training. This is the quickest and easiest way
to show the dog that, even though you are totally
incompetent in your training techniques, you are still
in charge. And you will get back to it……… some day……….
when pigs fly.
14.
When you ALSO fail at having your children take
you seriously or respect you, you can always use the
‘pet threatening’ idea. It has been proven to work
miracles in practically no time. It’s an excellent way
of keeping children, as well as spouses in line. Being
abusive to the pet is certainly not going to affect it
at all. They have no feelings or emotional attachment
to you.
15.
If you have a neighbor that annoys you, beat his
dog with a shovel. If the offending party is a child,
strangle her kitten and hand her the lifeless body when
she rides her bicycle in front of your house. Nobody
will do anything about it so you will not only get rid
of two annoyances at once, you all will surely laugh
about it in a couple years.
16.
Never waste your hard-earned money on vet care
for your pet. The cash you waste on shots, heartworm
preventive ,etc., will buy you a lot of beer. And what
you’d shell out to have that dog’s leg fixed after he
was fool enough to run out in front of a car, would buy
you a big screen TV to go with the beer.
17.
When you hear your neighbor man beating his dog
because it escaped or didn’t sit on command, just leave
them alone. It is really not your business. Anyway,
it’s just a give and take thing, for when you get angry
with your dog and kick it silly for chewing on the brand
new $9 garden hose After all, if he was beating his
child, you wouldn’t call authorities then, either
because it is just not your business, huh? It’s only a
law – it’s meant to be broken occasionally.
18.
During the office lunch and a co worker begins to
show photos of her new litter of puppies that she is
hoping to sell for $500 each, it is always a good
conversation starter to begin bashing animal activists
and then discuss how much you regret spaying your
beautiful mixed breed dog and see how many others at the
table will finally decide to allow their pets to also
have litters of puppies or kittens. It really doesn’t
matter that we have 8,000,000 to 10,000,000 good,
adoptable and loving pets dying each year in this
country. That is ‘everyone else’ who is doing things
wrong. Not, you.
19.
When you move from the place you have now, don’t
worry about finding a place
to rent which allows dogs. That is no big deal
-You'’ll just find it another home. It’s just a dog. Of
course, the new family will likely take worse care
of it than what you did, because they have never
developed a relationship with it. So what? It’s out of
your hands by then. Of course, the good thing is you
were smart enough to place a FREE DOG TO GOOD HOME ad in
the paper and several folks were interested in the dog.
The screaming animal activists say that so many of the
Free To Good Home ads end up in the hands of dog
fighters or research facilities just to scare you. I’ve
never known of a dog that ended up there. They are just
crying wolf again. The woman was unmarried, with 5 kids
and had a good smile.
20.
Take a good long look at the statistics
provided at the following link. DO THAT NOW!
http://www.petpopulation.org/
Make sure that you re-read all the points 1-19 again and
again and again. Until you no longer see yourself in the
following photo. |
